Reach Out
by FanGirlMoment
Summary: Adam is asked to show a new girl around school, but how will she react when she finds out about him? and how will he react when he finds out about her?
1. Chapter 1 I'm Not You!

Ch. 1- I'm not you!

Adam's POV

My alarm goes off, but as usual I'm already awake to hear it. I slip my hand out from under the warm covers and gently pressed the "off" button. I then groggily walk into the bathroom. There it is. The mirror. Every day I look in it and see the same exact thing: a confused girl. I turn my head away and grab the bandage. Wrapping it around my chest, I know it's no use. Thanks to that BITCH Bianca everyone knows. Yet out of habit I finish anyway. I then put on my school uniform. Purple shirt. Khaki Pants. Simpson actually tried to send me the girl's uniform but I refuse to wear it. I'm not a girl. Doesn't anyone get that? How hard is it to understand?

_Knock Knock. _A call from Drew.

"Adam! Hurry up! Did you die in there or something?"

"Shut up Drew." I shout through the door. Why can't he just use another bathroom?

"Jeez what's up with you today?"

"Nothing."

"Well maybe you should be more polite." I open the door and snort at him.

"Please."

"What?" He asks, bewildered.

"Like you are the one in need of support."

"Hey! You know I just went through a hard break up with Alli and-"

"I know! You've said it a million times and I still don't care. Be happy you had a girlfriend."

"What is with you today? Are you on your period or something?" I just look at him in disbelief. He looks shocked too. "Adam, I'm so sorry I didn't mean-"

"Too far drew." I scowl at him and run out the door, but he follows after me.

"Look, Adam-"

"Just shut UP!"

"Look, I'm sure it's hard-"

"You have NO idea!"

"It can't be that bad." I spin around and face him.

"I'm NOT YOU!" He looks at me confused.

"What…?"

"You're Drew Torres! Star quarterback! I'm not even allowed to play on the team! You have tons of friends and I'm lucky to have two-"

"Adam-"

"And Principal Simpson won't even let me use the same bathroom. You were there when he gave me the "handicap" pass. He didn't even send me the boy's uniform. I go through school after school after school. You have a girlfriend- or had one anyway, but none of the girls want to talk to freaks like me." He started to talk to me, but I cut him off again. " And you know how you lost her? By having sex with someone else, yet ANOTHER thing I'll never get to do. "

"You'll get a girlfriend-"

"As if. It took my own MOM 15 years to accept me. As if some stranger will. It's just not FAIR that this is happening to me. I did nothing wrong."

"Adam sometimes life isn't fair."

"I KNOW it isn't! I'm LIVING PROOF it isn't!" Before he can say anything I walk away. This time he doesn't follow me.

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_Sorry if it's bad! This is just the first chapter so please keep reading!_

_Wuv you!_

_xoxo_

_~Logan_


	2. Chapter 2 I didn't know

Ch 2- I Didn't know

Drew's POV

I watch Adam walk away and feel guilty. I can't believe I was that rude to him. After all he was right. He didn't deserve this. I sigh. He's my brother and I love him, but what can I do? I can't change anything. Throughout the years, I've seen him angry. At mom, at his..condition…, and at the others at school. I've seen him sad too. But I didn't know he hated _**himself. **_Blamed himself as if he chose that. I wish he didn't. Because out of all the things he doesn't deserve, the blame is the biggest. Why can't he see how loved he is?

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_I know that was short. It was kind of a filler… hopefully none of my other chapters will be that short!_

_Wuv you!_

_xoxo_

_~Logan_


	3. Chapter 3 Danigore

Ch. 3- Danigore

Adam's POV

Still pissed at Drew, I stalk all the way to school. How could he say those things to me? I shake my head as I arrive at the school. I catch Principal Simpson's eye, and he motions me over.

"Adam." His tone is full of warning.

"Yes Principal Simpson?"

"What are you wearing?"

"My school uniform, sir." He looks at me as in _you know what I mean._

"Mr. Simpson!" I gasp. "PLEASE understand you can't do this to me! It's so unfair- it's hard enough convincing people I'm a boy, it'll only be harder if I have to do it in a girl's uniform!" A hint of humanity crosses through him and he nods.

"Fine. But you _do _have to come to my office."

"What? Why?"

"New student. I want you to show her around."

"Shouldn't you be asking a star student, like Clare?"

"Normally, yes, but she's in all of your classes and you know what it's like to be new. You'll be more understanding helping her out." I sigh.

"Fine, sir." We walk briskly into the school and step into his office. Sitting there is a girl my age, looking frightened and nervous.

"Danigore." She jumps up at the sound of his voice and faces him. She has pale skin, like she stays inside all day, and her porcelain skin tone is only emphasized by the long black hair that runs down to her waist. An ice blue streak matching her wide eyes runs down the left side.

"Yes Principal Simpson?" Her voice is light and soft. Delicate. This must be what people mean when they say "voice of an angel."

"This is Adam." He says pulling me over towards him. "He'll be showing you around." I don't like the way he said "he'll."

"Hi," I say, raising a hand.

"Hey," she replies, smiling. She wipes a strand of hair out of her face. "I'm Danigore. Black. A lot of people call me Dani, though." She laughs nervously. But right now, I have a feeling I'm more nervous than she is.

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_Hmmmm is adam about to FINALLY get some love? (lmao) I would love reviews and readers… so comment and tell other ppl to read my crap cuz it raises my self esteem!_

_Wuv you!_

_xoxo_

_~Logan_


	4. Chapter 4: Everyone's different

Author's note: Please review I'd love it. This Chapter contains a bit of language. no biggie.

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Dani's point of view

"And the last stop on our wonderful tour is our refuge from Ms. Dawes and the other… wonderful… teachers, the cafeteria- serving processed garbage since 1861. Thank you for touring today. I'm Adam Torres, signing off," Adam exclaimed, trying to sound professional. I tried to repress a giggle but ended up bursting out laughing. Adam had been showing me around the school during the first few periods and although I was nervous at first, I felt so much more relaxed once I realized Adam was so lighthearted. _You know what they say about change, _I thought to myself for a second. But shuddered the thought away.

"I assume I get a free pass today?" I joked, referring to a place to sit at lunch. He seemed pretty cool to me, but who knows if I made a good impression on him. Maybe instead of letting me sit with him he figured I could find a seat, and a new crowd, on my own. But he just smiled.

"Of course. Who would I be if I didn't invite a nice young lady to sit with me."

"I guess Chivalry isn't dead," I teased. We both laughed and I exhaled. Why was I worrying? Of COURSE Adam would say yes. He was a nice person. _You shouldn't judge people_, I thought subconsciously. _People are layered. People hide. You should know_. I repressed the thought again, but not before a chill went through me. I silently told my brain to shut up when I saw Adam's body stiffen.

A girl was coming towards us wearing a red shirt. A junior, I thought. I had memorized the dress policy beforehand so I wouldn't make the mistake of talking to seniors. Then again, that was my old school. It seemed people from all different grades knew each other and talked to each other like it was no big deal here. It was there though.

_"Oh look, Monica, it's that stupid freshman that's always gawking at us like we'll actually acknowledge her. What a ditz."_

_ "Oh my gawd she's at it again. Doesn't she have a life?"_

_ "I heard that she has no friends. Her daddy left her. I'd feel bad if she wasn't such a loser."_

_ "She looks like she'd be fun to mess with. Let's go over and teach her a lesson."_

_ "What if she doesn't learn?"_

_ "Trust me. She will. One way or the other."_

The junior came closer. She had curly brown hair and menacing eyes. She was glaring at Adam. As she passed by she leaned in his direction, looked at me, then at him, and said quietly enough for only the three enough for us to hear, "Tranny." She smiled to herself and walked off. _What's a tranny?_ It was clearly something bad because Adam's eyes widened as he looked at me. I started to say something but he was running out the door.

"Adam, wait!" I called, but he was gone. I looked around to see if anyone saw when I spotted a kid dressed in all black and a girl with short curly hair looking horrified, as if they knew what Bianca said even if they couldn't hear it. And they knew what it meant. I quickly walked over.

"What the hell was that?"

"What?"

"You know what. That girl said something and he ran off. She called him a tranny. What's a tranny?" They exchanged a worried glance.

"C'mon. I'm gonna find out anyway. It's called google. Please tell me so I can find him and see if he's ok." The girl and boy gave in.

"He's probably in the bathroom. You should check there." I laughed nervously.

"Umm.. you may not have noticed but I'm a girl. I can't go in the boy's bathroom. You'd have to come," I stated, gesturing towards the boy.

"Not the boy's bathroom," the girl said. "The handicapped one."

"Handicapped? Is something wrong with him?" The two looked at each other and then at me.

"Not quite," the boy said.

I found the handicap bathroom and knocked on the door.

"A-Adam?" Are you in there?" I heard a muffled response. "Open the door. I want to talk to you. Now." After a long minute of silence he finally opened the door.

"What?" He looked as if he was about to cry. Or was I imagining?

"I-I know. About you being transgender." I wasn't imagining. He really was about to cry. He looked down. "Adam," I let out a shaky laugh. "I don't care!" He looked up at me incredulously.

"You don't?"

"Not at all! I mean, I wasn't expecting it, but I don't care. You are who you are."

"But I… have a body of a girl-"

"I know. And I couldn't care less." I lifted my arm. "Every movement I make and everything I do is controlled by my brain. Without it, I couldn't eat, sleep, or talk. So the way I see it, isn't what's between the ears the thing that counts?" He smiled. I put my arm down.

"Everyone's different, and that's what makes us all the same," I continued. "And you're way too smart and funny to be depressed." He laughed. "Besides, you were way too perfect. I like flawed Adam better. I can't imagine him any other way." We both smiled and I gave him a hug. "And now," I said, glancing at my watch, "We have about 15 minutes left to eat, so I'm heading back to the cafeteria. Join me?" He laughed and we walked back to the cafeteria, joking along the way as if we'd been friends for a while, not just today. As we were walking into the lunchroom, the junior passed by again. Bianca. The boy and girl, Eli and Clare, filled me in on the details of who people were and what happened a few months back. She smiled at a second opportunity to tease him.

"Freak," She said, and continued walking. I turned around to face her.

"Um, Bitch? Piss off." Adam smiled, but Bianca gaped.

"Are you _joking_, little girl?"

"Did I stutter?" We were right up in each other's faces.

"Why don't you and that little tranny go back to the cafeteria?"

"Why don't you find a new diss? 'Cuz trust me, Bianca," I Smiled sweetly. "It's getting old." Bianca looked angry but eventually she just grumbled, "whatever" and left. Whatever was right. Adam and I smiled while we entered the cafeteria, me getting a couple of high fives from students that saw what happened. Degrassi wasn't so bad, after all.

* * *

Let me know- I'd love it!

xoxo

Logan


	5. Chapter 5: Park Bench

The rest of the day I was filled with adrenaline. After all this time, I never thought I would actually stand up for myself or a friend. _Wow_, a thought rushed through me. _You actually_ do _have a spine. _I stopped cold. Adam sensed that I wasn't walking with him and turned around.

"Are you okay, Dani?" He looked slightly confused.

"Yea, sorry. Just thinking about the whole Bianca thing."

"I don't blame you!" He laughed. "It was about time someone put her in her place."

"And speaking of place," I said, hearing the school bell. "We're gonna be out of it if we don't get to class."

"Oh right. Ready for English?"

"Umm, I guess?"

"Don't worry. Ms. Dawes can come on strong sometimes, but she's really nice."

"I hope so." We walked in and Adam took a seat. I walked to Ms. Dawes's desk. She looked up and smiled when she saw me.

"And you must be Danigore," she said, standing up. She addressed the class. "Everyone, we have a new student joining us today. This is Danigore Black. I expect you all to be nice to her and make her feel welcome. Danigore, is there anything you want to tell us?" I looked around, startled. People were staring at me. _Go ahead, Danigore. Say something. Don't fuck this up too- I know you have a tendency of doing that. _I swallowed really hard and managed to stutter, "U-um, you can just call me Dani." I faked a smile, and people seemed to buy it. _Game face, Bitch. It's working._

"Well Dani," Ms. Dawes continued. "You may take that empty seat next to Eli- right there in front of Adam." Adam seemed to stiffen. Did I do something wrong?

Adam's POV

_Oh shoot she's coming. Act natural. _I tried to look as normal as possible as Dani walked over. She tried to smile but was looking at me weird. She took a seat in the chair right in front of me, next to Eli.

"So," Clare whispered.

"What?"

"You look weird." I gave her a dry smile.

"Thank you Clare."

"You know what I mean." We laughed and then she continued. "Well you just seem nervous that Dani's sitting in front of you. What happened at the bathroom?"

"She was really accepting." Clare smiled.

"Oh really?"

"Yea. She took it a lot better than I thought. She didn't care at all."

"Kinda like me and Eli." I nodded.

"Kinda like you and Eli."

"Then why are you nervous?"

"Ahem." Ms. Dawes interrupted. "I'm sorry to intrude on your personal conversation, but this is a classroom. This is not The Dot. Pay attention."

"Sorry, Ms. Dawes," we said in unison. Dani turned around and smiled at the exchange.

"Nice going, Adam." We both laughed and then returned to our work.

Dani's POV

After Ms. Dawes's lecture, I heard the bell ring. I jumped up and walked out of the classroom with Adam, Clare, and Eli.

"So, Clare, what're you up to this afternoon?" Eli asked the young girl.

"Uh… homework? Like I always do?"

"Oh my goodness!" Eli gasped. "I'd forgotten how interesting your life is!" Clare blushed and said, "Well what did you have in mind?"

"Dot in 10 minutes." Clare looked thoughtful and nodded. "See you there." They both went their separate ways and it was just me and Adam.

"What're your plans after school?" He asked. I froze. It was such an innocent question, such an easy question, but I didn't know how to answer.

"Umm I have to go straight home. My mom needs my help." His face fell. "But another time?"

"Definitely." He smiled and I ran to my locker. I glanced at my watch. My mom would be home in 45 minutes. The walk home was only 20 so if I hurried I'd have time to prepare. I shoved my books into my bag and ran home.

"Mom?" I called, walking inside, checking to see if she had come home early. No answer. I hurried upstairs and opened my dresser. I shoved a warm coat and socks into my bag along with some of my allowance money. I ran to the kitchen and put in some vitamin water and a sandwich in along with the clothes, money, and school work. I set the bag by the door along with a blanket folded on top of it. I fished out my homework and started working on it. I didn't want to have to do it later tonight. I glanced over at my things by the door. Thank goodness I had time to prepare. It was always worse when I didn't. Because anytime now my mom would be home. Because no matter how my mom and I got to that point today, I knew that once again I would end up kicked out and sleeping on a park bench tonight.

Thanks to any readers and reviewers I love you! And as thanks I will update regularly :3

Please keep the feedback coming I love it- and it's fun to get inspiring new ideas.

xoxo

Logan


	6. Chapter 6: Cry

I had quickly finished my math homework when I heard my mom coming up the steps. I bolted as fast as I could to the door to open it for my mom. Shaking, I put on a fake smile and opened the door just as my mom was coming up the final step.

"Hey mom, how was your day?"

"Shut the fuck up Dani I have a headache," she scolded shoving her bags into my arms, nearly knocking me over. I scurried off to put the things down in the kitchen and pulled out a glass and filled it with water for her. I brought it over to her but she just knocked it out of my hands. I could hear it shatter on the floor and reflexively stepped back.

"Can't you get the hint? I don't want to see you right now. Please get out," she snapped. I stood there shocked for a moment. "Are you deaf?" she yelled. "Or just stupid?"

"I-I-"

"You are such a disappointment." My breath caught in my throat. She said that to me nearly every day, but it still hurt. And I knew that it wasn't the worst of it. I couldn't help but feel angry. I clenched my fists.

"I didn't do anything!"

"That's the point Danigore! You're useless! You're not worth anything! I should've aborted you when I had the chance. I should've gotten rid of you!" _Don't cry. Don't cry. Don't cry. _My eyes were burning from the tears I was trying to keep in. But I wasn't just upset. I was pissed. I was tired of hearing this shit every day. I was tired of feeling unsafe in my own house. It wasn't fair!

"If you wanted to get rid of me, then why didn't you? You got rid of Christina! You got rid of dad!"

"Don't bring them into this."

"Why not? Are you ashamed of them too?" I knew I was only making things worse, but I couldn't control myself.

"GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!" She screamed at me.

"Gladly." I picked up my bag and stormed out the door. Fuck her.

()()()

Clare's POV

I left Degrassi and started walking to the dot. Jeez it was cold out. I pulled my coat tight around me. It was supposed to be freezing tonight. I had turned the corner when I saw a girl out of the corner of my eye. She had long black hair and looked like she was in tears. _Dani?_

()()()

Dani's POV

The girl named Clare was walking towards me. Shit. _Game face, Bitch. _I took a deep breath and quickly wiped my eyes. I stopped at the street corner and pulled out a hand mirror. I applied some eyeliner and lip gloss and checked to make sure my face wasn't all splotchy before I put it away. When Clare came over, I plastered on a smile.

"Dani?"

"Oh. Hey Clare. What's up?"

"Are you okay? You looked like you were crying…"

"I'm fine. You're eyes must be playing tricks on you."

"I know what I saw. You were wiping your eyes…"

"I got an eyelash in them." I laughed. "Jeez Clare, there's no need to overreact."

"I guess…" _You're getting surprisingly good at this, Danigore. Practice makes perfect, right?_

"Hey I have to go… I'll talk to you later?"

"Yea, ok. Are you sure you're alright?" Clare looked worried, so I gave her a dismissive laugh.

"I'm fine, Clare. You don't have to worry."

"Ok." She said, and walked away. I sighed and continued walking to the CAMH. I walked in and immediately spotted a lady working at reception.

"Umm, excuse me?" I asked. She looked up and smiled.

"Hello dear, how may I help you?"

"I'm Danigore. I was hoping to see Christina Black, please?"

"Are you related to Christina?" I nodded.

"She's my sister."

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It may be cruel to end it there but their conversation is really long so… yea. I'm sorry I'll update soon but I thought it was better to get something out there than nothing. Let me know.

xoxo,

Logan


	7. Chapter 7: Christina

Hey, this chapter focuses on Dani and Christina, so to give you a little back story. Unrelated, I'd just like to apologize that fix has kinda been on hold, I will start that one again and try and update more regularly. . Now onto the story: (oh and yea, I don't own Degrassi, so don't sue my ass I can't afford it :'D )

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Dani's POV

I walked past the lady down to room 219 and knocked on the door.

"Come in," I heard my sister say quietly. It was barely a whisper, but in a place where you can hear a pin drop, I heard it loud and clear. Her voice was raspy and chilling. It made me shiver. This wasn't the way she used to sound.

I tip-toed in. She was under the covers, eyes closed, mouth slightly opened. Her skin was paler than usual, not the beautiful porcelain it used to be, but a pasty splotchy color instead. Her normal soft, bouncy brown curls were now tangled like a bird's nest, as if hey haven't been combed in years. I struggled not to cry. This wasn't my sister. This was some sick…monster taking her place. I guess a suicide attempt will do that to you.

"Christina?" I stammered. As soon as I spoke, her green eyes snapped open, her mind recognizing my voice.

"Dani!" she squealed, leaping out of bed and running over to me. She seemed so full of energy, but it didn't take a detective to see how frail she was. I was half expecting her legs to collapse under her, except she was so light and skinny there was barely any pressure on them. She hugged me tight and I felt like I was going to cry.

"I-I'm sorry I haven't visited in a while."

"Don't worry about it. At least you still come."

"What's it like in here?"

"It's horrible! It feels like a prison."

(A/N: Flashback time! =D btw Christina is 16 at this time and Danigore [pronounced Danny-goar for the person who asked] is 14.)

_ I walked into the door and heard screaming. Out of instinct, I hid behind the staircase._

_ "You useless wretch!"_

_ "Mom PLEASE! Don't!" I heard a slap, followed by a scream from my sister, making me flinch. _

_ "HELP!" My sister was crying, but no one came. Then there was a thunk. I peered through the slits in the banister and saw that my mom had grabbed Christina by the hair and threw her into the wall._

_ "PLEASE!" My mom grabbed her by the shoulders and flung her into the little storage space under the stairs and locked the door._

_ "LET ME OUT!" My sister was banging on the door and screaming for help. Why wasn't anyone coming? My mom banged back and started shouting insults at her._

_ "IT'S DARK! PLEASE!" I felt like I was going to cry every time Christina screamed. Finally my mom left her there and went into another room. I scurried downstairs and unlocked the under-the-stairs cellar door. I yanked it open and my sister toppled out and struggled to her feet. She was in tears and breathing heavily. _

_ "Th-th-th" she choked, but I shushed her and pulled her into a hug._

_ "It's okay, Christina. C'mon let's go." She nodded and walked with me, sobbing._

_ "I hate that place. It feels like a prison." _

I held my older sister close. She was 17 now, but even two years younger I had always been the stronger one. I helped her back into her bed and pulled out the sandwich I had made. I tried to hand it to her but she smacked it out of my hand and crossed her arms.

"Ulterior motive, much?" She glared. I sighed.

"You know that's not why I came. You still need to eat! No wonder you look like a skeleton!" She exhaled and uncrossed her arms.

"I hate the food here. It's all PROCESSED SHIT!" She yelled the last part loud enough for the nurse outside to hear.

"Christina!"

"What?"

"You need to get better! I can't stand not having you around."

"Well how do you think I feel?"

"Christina…"

"No one comes to see me… it's lonely here."

"Like it's that much of a change."

"True…" Christina sighed and looked down before she decided to change the subject. "So how are you?"

"I'm fine." She glared at me.

"You're lying."

"Am not!"

"I am the QUEEN of 'I'm fine.'"

"You were." She snorted.

"Guess a suicide attempt blows that to smithereens." She laughed.

"How can you joke about that?"

"Because… it's easier to deal with it that way."

"Deal with it?"

"New subject."

"Hold on Christina, how can you deal with it? I found you there! You were there with the knife in your hands-"

"Don't remind yourself, Dani! It's easier to forget."

"Easier to forget?" I scoffed. "I-I can't believe this."

"Come on, Dani! Let's talk about something else. Anything. Degrassi! School! What happened? Make any new friends?"

"Three, actually. Adam, Clare, and Eli." Christina smirked and came over all obnoxious-older-sister.

"Adam and Eli, eh? They cute?" I snorted and rolled my eyes.

"Eli's dating Clare, but Adam's really cool."

"Oh? What's he like?"

"He's an FTM-"

"As in transgender?"

"Yeah…"

"Awesome!"

"You really think so?" I smiled.

"Yea, it's really badass! It's like, fuck you I am who I am. Total non conformist! He doesn't care what people say, he sticks to who he is. That's awesome!" I laughed at how into this she was getting. I guess you should take whatever distraction you can get. In fact, she had reached into my bag and taken out a bag of chips and was eating them. I smiled and continued.

"Yea, and there's this bitch named Bianca who gives him a rough time and I totally stood up to her!"

"NO way!"

"Way!" I continued filling her in on everything since I had last visited, and it felt like normal times. I brushed her hair and gave her some of my makeup before I checked my phone. It had gotten late.

"I-I have to go."

"What?"

"It's late…"

"Can't you stay here?"

"I don't know if that's allowed."

"I wouldn't know either. No one comes."

"I'm sorry it's been a while."

"Don't be! It's okay I don't mind. You still come."

"Well, I'll ask, okay?"

"Thanks!" I walked up to the receptionist and she actually okay-ed me staying here! I walked back into the room. Christina nearly pissed herself she was so happy.

"Don't get too excited," I smirked.

"I could say the same to you!"

"What's that supposed to mean…?"

"Do you actually have a place to stay tonight?"

"Home."

"You haven't left yet?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"I can't just leave her by herself!"

"Yes you can. She deserves it."

"I can't do that to her! I'm the only person she has left."

"What. She doesn't hit you too?"

"Not yet. More biting words than painful smacks." I came over to her. "I don't get it. You were always her favorite."

"If I was her favorite she would visit me."

"Don't do that to yourself, Christina."

"Do what?"

"Say things like that. You're degrading yourself again."

"All I'm saying is that maybe she'll start doing bad things to you too. Dad's gone, I'm gone, you're next."

"I can't leave her."  
"So you're gonna wait around and wait for her to beat you too?"

"Look at you Christina! You're all alone, you've stopped eating except when they force it down your throat, you tried to kill yourself, and I bet you still have the scars!" I stormed over to her and grabbed her arm. Sure enough, the cuts were gone, but I could see small etchings in her skin from where they were. Up and down both arms, scratched crisscross. I winced.

"You think that's gonna happen to mom?"

"As mean as she is to me, she still needs me. She went crazy when dad left, so she took it out by beating you. You got out, so it turned to me. If I leave, there's no one to turn it on but herself. She's still my mom, and I can't do that to her."

"Weight of the world." I smirked.

"Sounds right."

"You know, maybe mom's nicer to you because you look like dad.

"Wouldn't that make her want to hit me more?"

"No, it reminds her of him before he left. Probably doesn't want it happening again. So I guess you're right. She really doesn't want you to leave."

* * *

Lemme know! :D

xoxo,

Logan


	8. Chapter 8: Flashback

My sister fell asleep, but I couldn't. I was sitting up holding my legs to my chest. I looked around but all I could see was black- it was way too dark in here. Red letters on the clock were so bright. 3:46. I sighed and just stared at the clock, watching the time go by until I drifted off to sleep.

When I woke up, my sister was staring at me,

"What?"

"Don't you have school?"

"No. It's the weekend."

"Oh. I forget to keep track sometimes."

"It's okay."

"Why do you have your homework then?"

"To get it done. I don't want it to be late, and it's a distraction."

"Dani when are you going to get out of there."

"Never."

"Dani!"

"I'm serious." She sighed.

"Whatever. Are you gonna wear your school uniform?"

"Oh shit. I forgot to pack real clothes."

"It's ok, you can borrow something of mine."

"Thanks."

"No big deal." She walked over to a set of drawers her room had and pulled out a t shirt and jeans for me. I took them and changed in the bathroom. When I put on the T-shirt, I saw my scars. They were from the first, and thankfully only, time I cut myself. It was the night my sister had tried to kill herself.

_I walked in to silence. For once I didn't hear shouts from mom or screams from Christina. I remembered mom had a meeting today. But Christina always came home right away. I always hung out with my friends after school, but she never felt like tagging along. I walked up to my bedroom. It was Jack and Jills with hers, but I couldn't hear anything from her room or the bathroom. I wondered if maybe she decided to take a walk or stay after school, but then I heard a clang coming from the bathroom. I crept towards the door and slightly pushed it open. Peering in, I screamed at what I saw. _

_ "CHRISTINA?" I ran into the room and knelt down next to her, practically landing in a puddle of blood spilling from her deeply cut arms. The knife was just a few inches away. It must've made that noise. The color had spilled from her face, which was now streaked with tears and mascara. She seemed unconscious. "WAKE UP!" I screamed to her, but no response. I pulled out my phone and called 911._

_ "911 what's your emergency?" _

_ "M-my sister..i-is" I tried to say between sobs._

_ "Ma'am can you wait on the line?"  
"NO I CAN'T WAIT ON THE LINE MY SISTER IS DYING!" I gave her the information and hung up. I grabbed bandages and wrapped them around Christina's arms, trying to stop the bleeding. _

_ "D-dani?" She choked out. Her voice was raspy and strained. _

_ "Christina please," I begged. I sat her up against the tub and held onto her tightly. "It's gonna be okay paramedics are on their way."_

_ "I don't want them to be."_

_ "Christina you don't mean that."_

_ "You're always saving me." _

_ "I don't mind-"_

_ "You're a LIAR!" She screamed at me thrashing around. I held onto her tighter._

_ "Christina calm down!"_

_ "I'M the older sister! I'm supposed to help you!"_

_ "I-it's ok. Really, it's ok." She broke down into sobs. "Shhhh," I whispered, rubbing her back. How did she get like this? Mom, of course. I'd never forgive her for this. Suddenly I heard the ambulance approach our house, and paramedics ran up to us. Christina struggled as a man tried to pull her away from me._

_ "STOP!" She screamed at him, thrashing around. He shushed her and laid her down on a stretcher, and they brought her down the stairs, me following close behind. _

_ "D-don't leave me," She begged, grabbing my hand. _

_ "Funny. I could say the same to you." She choked out a laugh and I smiled. The man set her down in the back of the van and after a lot of persuasion he let me ride with her. I held her hand. _

_ "Please don't ever do that again," I begged her._

_ "I'm sorry Dani."_

_ "It's ok. Just please don't hurt yourself."_

_ "I can't help it."_

_ "Yes you can. Christina, if you cut, I cut too."_

_ "Don't."_

_ "I won't as long as you won't."_

_ "Dani?"_

_ "huh?"_

_ "Please don't tell them why."_

_ "Christina they're gonna ask!"_

_ "Then make something up."_

_ "I can't-"_

_ "please. Just don't tell them why."_

_()()()_

_ The doctors took Christina to the ER and stitched her arms up. One told me he was going to keep her there for a few days on suicide watch. He asked for mom's number, but I told him she was supposed to be out tonight, and that she didn't have a cell phone. He was skeptical, but said that I needed to bring her by tomorrow to clear up insurance and to make sure Christina would be okay. He asked me what happened, but I just told him that she'd been under a lot of stress. It must've overwhelmed her. He nodded and said I should head home. When I got there, I went to the bathroom to clean it up. It made me queasy to see Christina's blood all over the floor. I spotted the knife which was also tainted red. I picked it up, studying it. Why did she want to use it? Did it make her feel better? I was curious. How was this supposed to solve her problems? Slowly, I brought it down to my arms, making slits in them, wincing at the pain. I kept thinking that at some point I was supposed to feel relief. I didn't._

()()()

I pulled out a sweater from my bag and slipped it on. I said goodbye to Christina. She wasn't happy to see me go but I assured her I'd visit again soon.

* * *

Sorry if the chapter was crap, I just wanted to clear up some things… the full Christina issue will be cleared soon but I didn't want to overdo it… I promise I'll update soon with more Adam, Eli, and Clare! Lemme know what you thought, and if the flashback was convincing.

Thanks for reading!

xoxo

Logan


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